Should I see a sex addiction therapist (or counselor) to treat my sex or porn addiction, or get help from Coach Craig?
This is an important question. It’s a question that you must get right for your own sanity and for your family’s sake. When men find me on the web, they are often in need of immediate help for their sex and porn addiction. Most are choosing between a healthcare professional like a counselor or therapist or a Coach like me.
Essentially, these men are in crisis. In 50% of the cases these men have have been caught before by their spouse acting out with pornography or sex. Their families are in jeopardy and they need the right person to empower them to create massive change. A lot is at stake, and often times the default position or thinking in such cases is that therapy or counseling is a must.
I wrote this article to help you decide if The Mindful Habit Coaching can help you move beyond sex & porn addiction to creating healthy sexuality and a great life.
Coaching is not for everyone. I’m not for everyone. Some men need the slow, steady pace that a sex addiction therapist provides – especially if they are struggling with a drug and sex addiction or wrestling with a severe mental health condition, such as; PTSD, bipolar disorder, clinical depression, etc..
It’s critical that you find what works for you.
Let me mention a couple of quick formalities. First, the terms “therapy” and “counseling” are often used interchangeably. Each state has its own guidelines; in some cases there is no clear-cut difference and in other cases there is. With respect to the terms “therapist/therapy” and “counseling/counselor” in this article, the meaning is generally interchangeable unless otherwise stated. Second, if you are currently under the care of a licensed mental health professional, ie., psychiatrist, psychologist, therapist, counselor etc., either with or without an accompanying medication regimen, nothing in this article should be construed as advice or a suggestion for making a change of any type. The information here is simply my experience and the experience of clients as they have shared with me over the years.
Let me start with my personal experience with sex addiction therapy and porn addiction counseling…
Therapy can be great and I stand on the shoulders of my counselors & therapists that helped me over the years with my sex addiction and porn addiction. I’ve had many and I wouldn’t be here without those experiences. I am beyond grateful for their guidance and support.
But, I needed more. I spent tens of thousands of dollars on therapy for porn and sex addiction.; close to $10k more for a residential (inpatient) treatment program where I acted out on the first day I got out. I spent hundreds of hours in traffic and waiting rooms and in sessions sitting on the couch processing my issues, talking about my feelings and my past.
Despite writing what felt like 3 autobiographies in my sex addiction therapy, this still wasn’t enough to keep me from acting out. I enjoyed periods of sobriety and success … but ultimately I failed and acted out with porn, prostitutes and drugs over and over again. Counseling was fine during counseling, but outside of that misery persisted.
Each failure took me lower. The last one bringing me to my knees when I tried to kill myself after getting fired. That was my lowest point! So clearly what I had been doing wasn’t working.
What Was Missing From My Counseling Sessions?
While I learned a lot about my past in sex addiction counseling, I never learned WHAT to do with that information. I knew very little about habits (which literally control our lives), mindfulness (the antidote for bad habits), and how my past was impacting me today. I had no framework to proactively manage the addict part of myself. I had no tools either. And to top it off I never focused on discovering my purpose.
This made me realize that my sex addiction therapy lacked direction and focus.
Through my own experience, I’ve learned a lot about the gaps in those treatment approaches that I knew I needed to close when I started to build the Mindful Habit® System 8+ years ago.
Many of my clients echo the same concerns as I had about their own porn addiction counseling and sex addiction therapy. 75% of clients come to The Mindful Habit® from other treatment modalities like therapy, 12 steps, Psychotherapy, and Counseling. We hear over and over again that sex addiction therapy helped, but it didn’t deliver long term success.
First, don’t take my word for anything. I haven’t yet earned your trust and I respect that. There is a lot at stake so do your homework. Here’s what I recommend you do right now. Click this link and read what my clients have said about working with me here [INSERT LINK]. To help make sure that my reviews are real and from real clients, I’ve partnered with public review website Trustpilot so you can have confidence that you are reading real testimonials from real clients. You are … and you can read what over 210 of them had to say about the Mindful Habit® System here. I’ll let these results speak for themselves.
1. My therapist’s adherence to 12 Steps and the disease based model of addiction kept me stuck.
The primary treatment modality in the United States is to treat compulsive sexual behavior as a disease, as an addiction, much like alcohol has been treated for over 85+ years. When a sex addiction counselor takes this approach,they treat the symptom of the problem, not the root cause. There is too much focus on not doing “the thing” and not nearly enough attention on helping the client define and develop healthy sexuality. The disease based addiction model is too focused on treating symptoms.
And I’m not the only one who thinks 12 Steps and the disease based model – one invented to treat alcoholism over 85 years ago – does not sufficiently address the complexities of compulsive sexual behavior. The American Psychiatric Association & the World Health Organization (WHO) have both expressly and intentionally rejected the disease based model, to diagnose and treat compulsive sexual behavior. They instead use the term “compulsive sexual behavior,” a term TMH’s been using for years (words matter).
And finally, The American Society for sex educator counselors and therapists, a leading association of some of the worlds foremost experts on human sexuality, has publically said the sex and porn addiction treatment appoach “falls beneath the standard of care.” [INSERT IMAGE FROM THEIR WEBSITE WITH QUOTE]. Essentially, they call the model negligent (that’s what falling beneath the standard of care means).
The Mindful Habit® System expressly rejects the disease based model to treat compulsive sexual behavior.
Even if these organizations are ½ right and the model isn’t all bad (it’s not), it means that the underlying program that you are using is deeply flawed and possibly making your situation worse.
The Mindful Habit instead treats the sex addiction and porn addiction as the symptom of a deeper problem driven by low self-esteem, unhealthy sexuality, poor coping strategies, unhealthy relationship programming, and ignorance of how to meet powerful needs in a healthy constructive way.
By targeting these areas in a structured disciplined way, clients learn a system that empowers them to proactively manage the inherent power of their sexual energy. They learn how to create healthy sexuality. They learn what their true needs are and how to meet them in a healthy constructive way. They learn that they do not have a disease, but that ultimately they have a choice and they learn HOW to make that choice.
2. My sex addiction therapy and counseling didn’t teach me Practical Tools to help me manage my triggers and other negative reactions.
While my clients tell me they did a lot of talking in sex addiction therapy and counseling, they rarely focused on learning actual tools to help them better manage their triggers and negative reactions. It’s our strong belief that tools are mandatory. You can’t build a house without them, and the right tools ensure that it gets built soundly and speedily. You need tools.
The Mindful Habit® System teaches clients specific tools to create more self-control, be more mindful, and to stay in control in their pursuit of a purpose-driven life.
Without tools you will fail. You are never going to get rid of your triggers. You are never going to not have negative thoughts. You are never not going to experience failure. You are never not going to be sexually aroused. You need tools to proactively manage all these realities.
3. I wasted so much time in my day sitting in traffic & in the waiting room.
Here’s the deal …. My Clients are busy. They have difficult and challenging lives and can’t afford to be wasting time not creating results. We understand our client’s need for privacy and confidentiality and we know how busy you are.
The Mindful Habit® System is available all over the world online or by phone so you never have to leave your home or work and you can participate anonymously.
You can participate when & where it is convenient for you. You can access the lessons in your car, on your way to work, at lunch, etc … You need to learn to use your time wisely and we make creating a great life easy.
4. I needed more support. One 50 minute session per week wasn’t enough for me.
Most of our clients who attended sex addiction therapy had one 50 minute session per week. Their experience was the same as mine. I’d feel great after my session, but by day 3 or 4 I faded, lost track, and often slipped. My clients need more support.
The Mindful Habit® Coaching Programs include many touch points per week and daily support in our community forum.
We know you need more support. You need multiple touch points per week to keep you engaged, motivated and connected. Creating a great life is hard and you need to be pushed and encouraged. That’s why our Group Coaching Program holds 7 coaching calls per week. That’s why you get daily support on our forum and you can join a lesson anytime – 24 hours per day. That also includes weekly Mindfulness Training.
If you’re working with Coach Craig in our VIP – 1 on 1 Coaching Program, you’re meeting with him for 2 intense and powerful sessions each week and you get in-between session crisis support.
It’s A LOT of support. And that’s what is important to get you where you need to go.
5. My therapist didn’t know what I was going through. They haven’t struggled with compulsive sexual behavior.
We hear this so often. It’s because of the shame. Sex addiction and porn addiction involves behavior that feels so shameful and embarrassing. The thought of telling someone the kind of porn you watch (it’s relevant) and the sex acts that you performed is overwhelming. The shame makes it hard to share it even with a sex addiction therapist or counselor.
You feel that there’s no way that the person sitting across from you knows what you’re going through. The sex addiction counselor doesn’t know what that “pull” feels like. They don’t know the pain of the repeating shame cycle. They don’t know how dirty that part of you feels. We know how you feel.
Every coach at The Mindful Habit System has struggled themselves with sex addiction & porn addiction. We have all created the change needed to live purpose-driven lives. We KNOW what you are going through.
We all know first hand the horrors and shame of our sex addiction. All of my coaches have lived the shame and came out the other side. Coaches Adrian and George came to The Mindful Habit near suicide, after trying every other option and failing. I knew what they were going through. I was able to connect with their shame in a deep way that inspired them to go deeper, quicker.
The leader of our Spouse/Partner Empowerment Group, Licensed Therapist Sandy Joy, left her husband after years of addiction and neglect. My wife Michelle, who joins me on our Spouse/Partner calls knows all too well the pain of betrayal trauma.
We’ve all been there. And we all know what you’re going through. We’ve created a path, that for the right person will dramatically change their life. Licensed therapists love The Mindful Habit. Spouses of Sex and porn addicts love The Mindful Habit. And my clients love The Mindful Habit.
If any of these concerns resonate with you, and you’re looking for an aggressive approach designed to move you forward fast, get in touch with Coach Craig Perra and get your life back on track with The Mindful Habit System.
6. My sex addiction therapy takes too long to get results.
It’s irresponsible to guarantee results, but I do expressly challenge the notion that it takes years to get results. One client came to me after his therapist told him that he was likely going to need 5 years of sex addiction therapy inorder to heal. 5 years? … Think about what you could accomplish in 5 years. We are going to land a person on Mars potentially within 5 years. Within 5 years, rich people will be traveling to the moon for fun. That’s a ridiculous amount of time.
While you may not need 5 years of sex addiction counseling, we hear all the time from clients that their sex addiction therapy moves slow and tht results are few and far between.
Our clients needs to show results and they need to show them quickly. Their families are literally at stake. We here at The Mindful Habit® System believe that with the right teachings, tools, and techniques, coupled with the right person to push you, you can create massive results quickly.
There are specific skills that you must learn if you want to be successful long-term. You need to increase your self-control; you must elevate your self-awareness and your self-esteem; instead of obsessively focusing on not doing something, you must create healthy sexuality; if you’re in a relationship you need to learn how to be empathetic. And you need systems and routines in your life if you have any chance of being successful.
Our clients complete specific lessons and assignments that teach these critical skills. Our clients learn how to implement these skills into their everyday lives so their wife can actually see and feel results.
And we are quite unique in that we literally guarantee our results with a 30 day 100% money back guarantee. We are so confident in our program, we put our money where our mouth is. And don’t take my word for it. Read the over 217 Excellent Testimonials from men just like you, and their spouses, and see how The Mindful Habit System changed their lives and helped them save their families.