Read an Edited Transcript of the Show:
Welcome to Sex Afflictions & Porn Addictions, and I am your host, Craig Perra, from themindfulhabit.com broadcasting from beautiful Northern California. I am the founder of The Mindful Habit, the world’s number one at home addiction program for men struggling with sex and porn addiction and their partners. I base this on the over 240 public, independent, verified, authenticated real testimonials from real men and their wives, and this broadcast is to empower you to create healthy sexuality and a great life. We’re gonna broaden the scope here a little bit today and this broadcast is for anyone who has ever struggled with mental health issues in their lives.
We’re gonna talk about the seven things that you must do, mandatory to not suffer the wrath of a coronavirus mental health breakdown and come out of the corona crisis physically, mentally, and spiritually stronger because it ain’t gonna happen by accident. This shit is testing people in ways that they can’t even imagine. Divorce is up in China for the people who are coming out of this crisis. They had to shut down and limit the number of divorce applications that people could file because it is overwhelming the system. You may have seen in the news, child abuse is up, domestic violence is up. Porn watching is up. Cam girl revenue is up. Escapism is up. Numbing out is up. Coping in unhealthy ways is up.
People are freaking out, they are afraid and some of them are losing their minds. And this is serious. Some of us in the world or in parts of the country are late to this game. This is real and it’s scary and we men do a shitty job managing fear. And while women may be more inclined to talk about it, we’re all struggling. I just wanna share with you a quick story that prompted this broadcast, this subject today. So I was watching a short news segment on men and women on the front lines, our first responders, surgeons, nurses, techs in healthcare. And I saw a picture of these rows of bodies in the hallway, right? All corona. I heard detailed descriptions of the sacrifices that these people are making, the grocery clerks who aren’t going home to their family so as not to infect them and working crazy hours.
And then I saw the ventilators and I had an instant mini panic attack reflecting my own respiratory issues, all self-inflicted, smoking heroin, cigarettes and occasional crack and meth, and all self-inflicted. It feels good, but it’s still there, you know, especially allergy season, it gets worse. And I felt this sense of overwhelm, this rat in a cage feeling like I was trapped in a coffin and there was this incredible overwhelming urge to escape from that feeling. And I ask you, does that sound familiar to you? Have you experienced that feeling? Have you noticed that you are shorter temper? You’re easily triggered. You’re more angry, you’re more afraid and you’re not alone.
Science says in a study in The Lancet, a prestigious medical journal, quarantine increases anger. It increases depression. It increases anxiety. It increases your insecurities, vulnerabilities. It increases PTSD symptoms. So many of my brothers are struggling with PTSD. And this is making it worse because we are afraid. So what I wanna do today is I wanna share with you what I’ve learned over a lifetime of failure, a lifetime of struggling with mental health issues and a past decade of doing a hell of a job, the best job that I’ve ever done. And now leading people all over the world, helping them grow, helping them be their best selves. We are in crisis. We need to come together. And there are certain things that you need to do if you want to avoid a coronavirus breakdown, a mental health shit show. If you wanna come out of this mentally, physically, and spiritually stronger.
This is what I have learned and this is what I’m doing. I am gonna come out of this mentally, physically, and spiritually stronger. I’m gonna come out of this closer to Michelle. I’m going to come out of this closer with my kids, and I’m gonna find opportunities to connect with them and continue to find opportunities to connect with them in different ways. I’m gonna come out of this with a stronger business. I’m making, I’m improving things that I’ve been wanting to improve for some time. This has accelerated some other plans that sat on the great idea pile but I haven’t taken action. That’s what I’m gonna do. I am intentional. So here’s what you need to do.
Here’s what you literally like, this list to me is mandatory. I don’t know how you counterbalance your mental health issues without doing these things. And I just wanna say a word about counterbalance. I love that word counterbalance. It’s actually one of my favorite words. I have to counterbalance my crazy. The reason why that word is so impactful is because I used to live in this place where I had with all my therapy and all my counseling that I’d get to this place where I wouldn’t be triggered. You know, there’s this universe, there’s this place where I am never going to feel like a piece of shit again. I am never going to feel like this profound sense of failure and overwhelm and I have since learned that that is the wrong goal.
That is the wrong objective. I will feel low again. I have to counterbalance my crazy. That means I need to take actions to make sure I keep that crazy in check. I have to counterbalance the reality that I’ve struggled with depression. I have struggled with anxiety. I have struggled with ADD. I struggled with compulsive behavior my entire life. One doctor says I got the bipolar, another doctor doesn’t. I’ve got issues. I have mental health issues that demand that I counterbalance them in order to be the best man that I can possibly be for me and my family. So the first action that you must take to avoid a coronavirus breakdown and come out of this stronger is you must practice rigorous self-care, not just rigorous self-care, rigorous self-care rooted in love for self.
And I’m gonna make the self-care real easy. I break it up into my fundamental five, right? Five things that you must do. This is like back East. We have this expression as a kid, when someone said something that was so obvious, you know, two plus two is four, us mean kids would respond like, “Duh, like duh, of course, two plus two is four you dummy.” (laughs) Right? This is then a duh. This is the obvious. And every I teach this lesson, I’m like, I can’t believe I’m teaching people this obvious. They’re gonna think I’m stupid. They’re gonna hate it. This lesson is always one of the more impactful lessons in my program around self-care. And I’m gonna give you five areas that you should be focusing on, your eating, your diet. What are you putting in your body?
Are you honoring and respecting this vessel? Are you using this as an excuse to numb, cope, and escape and lose yourself in food? Eating, sleeping. If you do not sleep well over time, you’ll literally lose your mind. Sleeping is very, very important. Another easy one, but often overlooked. Hydration. Another important aspect of self-care is, here it comes, drum roll please. The obvious, exercise, most of your exercise routines are completely disrupted. You’re not going to the gym and now you’ve gotta do it on your own. And there’s no excuse. There’s a million people on YouTube telling you how to exercise at home and you will find someone with the slightest little search that you connect with.
And last but not least is mindfulness. Are you sitting and training your monkey mind by meditating, by downloading the app Headspace, by downloading the app Calm and putting those ear buds on for 10 minutes a day while you train the monkey mind? Self-care is first. Number two is use this crisis as an opportunity to either discover your purpose or revisit your purpose. This is your why question. Right? Why, why are you listening to this podcast? Why do you wanna be a better person? Why did you wanna be mentally healthy? What is it that you want to accomplish? Not just what, but why? And science tells us that people who honor their purpose literally live longer. That means they resist disease better by simply having purpose.
So take some time to reflect on the why questions and take those answers and hang them up in your bathroom, in front of you so you can have that regular connection to your purpose. Having a purpose is like a lighthouse, right? And the fog of war and the challenges and the fear and all the triggers and the poison that you’re getting out there in the media, you’ve got this light that shines and that light pulls you towards it like a moth to a flame but in this case a good way. So having that purpose is so important to help you counterbalance your crazy.
Third, commit to connecting. The opposite of addiction isn’t sobriety. It is connection. And I’ll just speak for us brothers, we tend to be really poor at it. Really, really poor at it. So be proactive in those connections. Reach out to friends, schedule something regular with friends. If your friends haven’t come up with the idea yet, do a little happy hour. Enjoy some coffee. I connected with my college roommates and oh my God, we had the most amazing time. It was so much fun just seeing each other, reminiscing and laughing. I’m like Craig, (laughs) wow, big surprise that you’d end up where you are working with people struggling with addiction. So we had a hell of a time. Okay? So commit to connecting.
And number four, we’ve talked about discovering your purpose, but for number four, you need to have goals that fuel your purpose, so this is important. You’re not gonna come out of coronavirus successfully if you’re reactive. That’s not what counterbalancing is.
Counterbalancing is having goals, visible goals in your life that are pulling you towards something, and very specific with coronavirus. What specific goals do you have around either your fundamental five, around exercise, around connecting, maybe or some relationship goals that you have? But I know that I am closer to doing a handstand than I have ever been. A week ago I couldn’t even get up. Now I can easily get up and I can’t stand there very long and I’ve gotta lean against the door, but oh my God, I’m like almost 49 years old. It’s awesome. It feels so, so, so good. When I started three weeks ago, I couldn’t jump rope. Now I can jump rope a hundred times and crisscross, boom, boom, like Rocky, right?
Those are two new skills, two goals that I had and I’m gonna get better at those goals. And the interesting thing about jump roping is I have learned that that targets specifically the muscles that I need to target because of the herniated discs in my neck. So from coronavirus, I have a gift, right? I wouldn’t have discovered this gift, this simple exercise. I’ve been struggling to find the right exercise and jump rope, boom, there it is. I’ve found a gift. You need to find your gift and have clear goals that fuel your purpose. Number five, there is so much that we have without, there’s so much loss that so many of you are experiencing.
Number five is practice gratitude. This crisis gives us an opportunity to reflect on what it is we do have. And every time I’m practicing mindfulness and I’m focusing on the breath, I am so grateful that I have the breath to focus on ’cause there are people right now, brothers and sisters struggling, they would kill, maybe even cut off a few fingers (laughs) to get that oxygen back in their lungs. So practice gratitude. What do you have in your life that you are grateful for? Write it down. Write three things down each day. And the next, number six ,well here, let me tell you what it is and then I’ll tell you why I think it’s important.
Number six is to create routines. In particular, my recommendation is bookend routines. A routine in the morning to get you started on the right foot and a routine in the evening. What should that routine entail? That’s what we talked about. It should entail self-care. It can entail you declaring your purpose, it can involve you connecting. These routines can be you moving forward in your goals that you have that fuel your purpose. These routines could include gratitude, writing down what you’re grateful for, what you’re grateful for. So create routines. Structure and discipline, two words that I used to hate, sometimes I have to stop and reflect that, hey, I’ve become the structure discipline guy.
For most of my adult life has been some rebellion against structure and discipline. Whether that, I was in my corporate stuffy career, you know, smoking weed on the way to work. Just rebelling against everything that was like me. So to be in a place where I’ve come to realize that, whoa, wait a minute, wait a minute, structure and discipline isn’t crushing my freedom, structure and discipline has given me my freedom. It has given me the opportunity to counterbalance my crazy and live my best life. So here, last but not least, okay? and these, the order of priority is going to be different for everybody. Okay? And I’m gonna do a quick recap at the end on the seven things that you need to do to avoid a coronavirus breakdown, live your best life, come out of this stronger mentally, physically, and spiritually.
Last but not least is to be mindful of what media you are putting in your body and when. I know how I feel, so I like to consume media from both sides of the political spectrum. I’ve always fashioned myself an independent and I know that news is biased, so I wanna see a broad spectrum of news. And when I go to the Drudge Report (laughs) and you see a list of horrors and society is breaking down, I’ve been watching like apocalyptic zombie movies my entire life, the sky is falling, it triggers the living shit out of me. I feel that fear and I feel that decades of programming, numbing, coping and escaping from that fear. I feel that so, so strongly and so acutely.
So it is so important that you are mindful of what you are putting in your body and when. I do not want you not to be informed. One bit of advice I will recommend that has served me well is listen to the doctors, not necessarily the politicians. Okay? That advice has served me well. The other tip that I have is that I consume news in the morning and I consume it around dinnertime. I do not consume it late at night. The reason why I don’t consume it late at night is because it is too triggering and it impacts self-care, particularly sleep. So be mindful of what you’re putting into your body and when. And I’m particularly, I’m referring to media. So let’s review the seven actions that you must take if you want to avoid a coronavirus breakdown or a mental health shit show so you come out of the coronavirus crisis mentally, physically, and spiritually stronger.
Number one, self-care rooted in self-love, honor your fundamental five, eating, sleeping, drinking, exercising, and practicing mindfulness. Number two, find your purpose and post that purpose everywhere. You need, the why is the fuel that drives results. What’s your why? Declare it, post it so you can be remembered of it when you are down, when you are low. Number three, commit to connecting. The opposite of addiction isn’t sobriety, it’s connection. And this is an isolating situation that we’ve got going on. We’re social distancing. We’re not going out. Be specific and connect with friends that so desperately wanna hear from you. Think of what you’re doing for them. I think of this connection as an act of service because it is.
Number four, have clear goals that fuel your purpose. And by clear goals, I mean clear, specific, intentional in writing, smart goals that are specific, measurable, attainable, relevant, and time bound. A few of them, so you’ve got this beacon, you’ve got this light that’s moving you towards something. You’ve got to be moving towards something. And goals are a critical way to do that. My jump rope and my handstand has brought so much joy and these feelings of success in my life. What are yours? Number five is to practice gratitude. There is so much that we don’t have, but if you’re listening to this podcast, I know there is so much that you do have. Celebrate that, honor that, respect that, and revisit that regularly. Practice gratitude.
Number six, to implement, to operationalize, everything that we’ve talked about, create bookend routines. So important to get your day started right and ending right. So have a bookend routine in the morning and have a routine in the evening. They are very specific series of actions that you perform that allow you to practice gratitude, that allow you to revisit your goals, that compel you to connect, that remind you of your purpose to practice self-care. Bookend routines are so important, structure and discipline is freedom, not the other way around. Structure and discipline is freedom, not the other way around. And last but not least, in this click bait culture that we live in, in this, do you wanna get clicks? You prey on people’s fear. That’s what they’re doing. Be aware of it. Be mindful of the media that you’re putting in your body and when. The 24 hour news cycle is poison, it is absolutely poison. Step away from it and notice the anxiety that you feel when you step away from it. At least that’s what people tell me that they experience ’cause they’re conditioned to that hit, that news is doing something for them. That bad habit is serving a purpose. We’re gonna talk about that in another podcast coming up. So those are the seven ways to avoid a coronavirus shit show. I hope you found this podcast useful. Thank you so much for listening. A commercial break right now.
So a couple things that we’ve done to ethically respond to the coronavirus and because I have an online at home addiction program, we have reduced the self study program from $499 down to $90, 80% off the self study program. You can access that on the website and enter the coupon code coronavirus. So if you enter the coupon code coronavirus in the self study, you’ll get that 80% discount. And if you need more support, if you want more structure and you’re interested in learning more about my powerful group coaching program, we are offering scholarships and discounts off its regular price of $1,997 for that intensive six month training.
If you have any questions, reach out. My support will take care of you at +1 877-769-3790, that number is on the website, www.themindfulhabit.com. Own this so it doesn’t own you. Embrace your power of choice and feed the right wolf inside you. Peace and love. See you next time. Thanks for listening