Self- Mastery- Exploring this from the Perspective of an Ex-Porn Addict

If you follow my blogs or vlogs then you know that I always say the best cure for pornography addiction is the aggressive pursuit of a great life.

I am so excited to pass along the rich wisdom and experience of a person who came through their adversity and turned it into an opportunity to add greatness to his own life and to inspire others. I’ll outline this interview with my friend, Tim.

Tim and I looked back to his rock bottom and I asked him to describe what that was like.

Tim explained that his story is very much a typical one for those who struggle with the affliction of pornography addiction. Tim grew up in a small town with a verbally abusive father who, he says, used every nasty and derogatory name one might think of. Tim was told on a regular basis that he was worthless and was trash. Sadly, Tim believed these lies for quite a while. Tim also suffered with damaging effects of sexual and physical abuse.

We discussed how tragically common Tim’s situation is; this abuse creates programming that, if not reversed tends to stay with us.

Tim explained that he’s in his fifties now but he can remember that growing up his sexuality was affected from an early age. He remembers being about nine years old when he used a Sears catalog as pornography; this is about the time his addiction began. Additionally, his social skills were limited and stunted for a long time; he didn’t start dating until his twenties.

Tim recounted the moment when he knew he needed to seek help and his first steps. Tim had been acting out pornography and visiting strip clubs as a married man; he told his wife honestly about his struggles. Although his wife was supportive, she strongly urged him to get help immediately. Tim began with a psychiatrist. However, at this point the internet was still fairly new and the psychiatrist was ill equipped to help him. Not knowing how to handle a pornography addiction, the psychiatrist told him to write pornography as a means of getting it out of his system and he put him on antidepressants. Tim was even put on two different antidepressants at the same time, neither of which did him any good.

Tim continued to overuse pornography, only this time he hid it from his wife so she believed the therapy was working. Tim used the internet to fin people and programs that might help, however none of them worked for him. He even tried a 12-step program through a church with no real success; but then he found me and my services and things finally turned around for Tim, for good.

What I want to convey to you more than anything as I share Tim’s story is that your realization of having this certain lack in your life, of not having a fulfilling sex life or even screwing up your life and relationships, is a powerful moment and opportunity for you.

When you come to this conclusion, this is the beginning of the rest of your life; I hope you will also feel relieved and hopeful for a bright future.

I asked Tim what his saving graces were early on; what did he do that helped him start to regain control of his life. Tim cited socializing, changing his focus, starting and picking back up hobbies he enjoyed, meditation, flying, spending precious time with his family.

What worked best for time was flying; he had his own airplane and started replacing porn with flying. He still had tough moments, especially early on…he started to feel lost at one point. However, he continued progressing upwards with exercise and weightlifting. His efforts were rewarded and he learned that the harder he worked the more he enjoyed it.