Read an Edited Transcript of the Show:
You are listening to Sex Afflictions and Porn Addictions, and I am your host Craig Perra. You can find me on the web at www.themindfulhabit.com. I am the founder of the Mindful Habit System, a system designed to create healthy sexuality and a great life. And this is a podcast to help you create healthy sexuality and a great life. It’s also for the partners of men who are struggling with compulsive sexual behavior. What I’ve gotten really good at is helping men use their crisis of discovery as a powerful catalyst to create powerful change. How to aggressively pursue a great life.
And in this podcast, this podcast is going to be short and sweet, but I want to tell you about an exciting opportunity to get free treatment for your digital addiction. Possibly work with me and appear on an Emmy award-winning show about digital addictions. So yes, clearly going on TV is not for everyone but I decided to make this podcast because I believed and I know there’s someone out there who is burning to shake things up. Someone out there who is desperate to get world-class treatment. Someone who would benefit and thrive by sharing their story.
So that’s what this podcast is about. I want to share with you a powerful opportunity to get free world-class treatment for your digital addiction. Now, this is also, if you love someone who is struggling with a digital addiction, and a digital addiction is, think, compulsive behavior technology. Wherever those two things are in union, that’s what we’re talking about. And that can be pornography, that can be camming, that could be dating sites, that could be fishing for escorts, using technology. Shopping, online shopping, social media, online gambling. Any compulsive behavior that involves technology, you can get free treatment for that and share your healing journey on a new TV show from the creators of the Emmy award-winning A&E series, Intervention.
And I am so honored. I am so pumped. I am so psyched to share with you that I have been selected to appear on this new show as a coach and an interventionist. And this podcast is for you. If you are a fit, you might be able to join me. Now, if you think about sharing your journey on TV and you are scared, I know the feeling. And again, I’m going to say this a few times throughout this podcast, this opportunity is not for everyone. Again, the someone who would thrive, shake things up, where the pros outweigh the cons. Where the pros outweigh the cons. Now, I know those cons. Now, I was terrified, terrified.
The way our journey started is first, my wife, Michelle, appeared on the Anderson Cooper show. I was still looking for jobs at that time. Yet she had to share her story. She’s the reason why I’m here. It was her being brave, her starting a blog. Her saying, “Wait a minute. I think there’s a better way to do things.” She wasn’t getting value from what was offered to her. I remember once in one of the inpatient places I stayed in, she had a three by five. No, not a three by five, an eight and a half by 11 tri-fold brochure. Copy of a copy. “The spouse of an addict,” something like that. And, oh my God, she still remembers that. So after we did, she went on Anderson Cooper. Together we went on Katie Current. We went on the show with Dr. David Ley. There was a couple of other people that were there and if you happen to see that episode, I’m bawling my eyes out on national television.
It was so powerful and it changed my life. It absolutely changed my life. It was then I knew that I had found my calling in helping people. And I realized that I wasn’t alone anymore because while I expected, or at least feared that I’d be rejected in my community, I was embraced. Now, were there’s some people who give me gossip and talk about me and talk about Michelle? Yeah, of course, of course. Of course, they do. Yet we got closer to our friends. The vulnerability of sharing what I believe the majority of people in relationships are struggling with in the country today. If you define the problem as is one partner keeping sexual secrets, and is second issue is that keeping of sexual secret’s impactful.
That’s the majority. I honestly believe that. And I think there’s data out there to support that.
Now, if you narrow the definition and talk about who’s acutely struggling with addiction, obviously that’s a lesser number, but people are unable to get appointments with therapists. I’ve had to limit my one-on-one coaching, limit the number of people in the group coaching program, because I can’t put too many people in there because it provides so much one-on-one support because of the… People can’t get help. People can’t get help. And because so many people are struggling with some aspect of compulsive sexual behavior. And of course, I mean, I felt terrible shame. Terrible, terrible shame. Dirty piece of shit, disgusting shame.
I realized I wasn’t alone anymore because I’d go out and talk to people and meet people and, “I know someone else,” or, “Me too.” I struggled too when I’m like, “Oh my gosh.” I was living my truth and honored. See, for me it felt so good. So good. That’s what feed me. See, when we talk about aggressively pursuing a great life, we talk about feeding the right wolf. For me, sharing my journey and bawling my eyes out on national television made me feel proud. I was living my truth, and I felt awesome that my appearance inspired other addicts to get help, to stop feeling alone and to stop living in shame. And you are not alone. You are not alone. So if you are a brave soul, you have to be brave to go on television, to share your story.
And you know what’s interesting? It’s I bet you… When we went on the Steve Harvey show, it was so hard to find somebody willing to share their journey and people will post it online, “I’ve quit drinking. I stopped using drugs.” And of course, those are all wonderful accomplishments. You say, “Hey, I’m getting my sexual self straightened out. Think I took this porn thing a little too far, right?” And you feel like you’re going to be a pariah. And I don’t think that’s the case. I mean, will you be abandoned and rejected in some communities? Yes, particularly it is. For some religious clients, for example, it’s unsafe for them to share their journey which is a shame because that’s obviously part of the problem.
So if you’re looking to shake things up in a big way in 2021, then please reach out and I’m going to tell you exactly how to do that in a couple of minutes. So here’s the opportunity. By appearing on the show, you have the opportunity to maybe, possibly, potentially, no guarantees, to work with me personally, or you are going to get three intensive inpatient treatment and, or you are going to get intensive outpatient treatment program, whatever is best suited to your needs. Now I cannot guarantee that you will work with me personally, but I can say I am beyond psyched to be part of this project. And I’m excited to share with you this information. So if you are interested in getting free treatment, including the possibility, no guarantees, of working with me or someone you love is struggling with a digital addiction, here’s all I need you to do. Send me a summary of your situation. Send me and Michelle a summary of your situation to the following email address. Either pause this, get a pen, type this into the computer so you have this email address.
It is firstname.lastname@example.org. Include your name. Include, obviously, your email address, your age, your marital status, and a short summary regarding, and I don’t think you need marital status, just a short summary of your struggle with your digital addiction. I’m going to take that email that you sent me, and literally, I’m going to forward it or someone on my team is going to forward it to the casting director. Her name is Christine Cavalieri. She is super kind. She’s helped me. Just really, really helpful. Hold on, someone’s calling. Stop that. Sorry, just got an interruption on the computer.
That interruption was actually someone who is interested in going on the show. So yeah, if you’re, and by the way, it’s a multi-step process. By the deciding to reach out, you’re just inquiring for more information. The next step isn’t to go on the television show. The next step is, “Yes, I’m interested in getting more information.” If you are interested in getting that more information including, well, the possibility of working with me maybe, and other treatments which I’ve reviewed and seen, the facilities and not all, but some of them, and there was a recommendation that I made. Amazing, amazing, amazing, amazing. World-class. Watch the show, you’ll see it. They’re world-class facilities.
Please email a summary of your situation to my wife, Michelle email@example.com. She’s the one who’s going to forward it to the casting person, Christine Cavalieri. Michelle runs our support. So that’s always her. If you happen to reach out to her and she’s awesome at it. And she really cares, and we really care and Christine is awesome. She just really made me feel at ease. She answered my questions. I just instantly had the feeling that I was dealing with a classy production. It just exuded class, respect. They’ve been doing this for a long time and just in watching the show and the follow-up, it’s powerful. It’s powerful seeing someone else out there like you because there are so many people. And so many of you who have this massive issue yet it’s contained. It’s impacting every area of your life and you have some close relationships and it’s a secret. It’s a secret. And we know. We know.
One of my favorite statistics, not favorite, but real. And there’s a lot of… I think it’s hard to get good data. It’s hard to get good data. We know how much people are watching, we know what they’re watching. Pornhub releases that data. I’m not talking about that data. Data around the impact and in a 2009 study by the lawyers who handled divorces. So I used to be an attorney. I did commercial and regulatory, other stuff, but I got a sense of, “Hey, the survey that they filled out.” So the lawyers who handle divorces filled out a survey, and it was regarding their practice. And what they found in that survey was porn was cited as a contributing factor in over 50% of the divorces and this was in 2009. Think about the growth and evolution of this problem since 2009 and add on top of that, the longterm.
Well, so again, camming, dating sites, shopping, social media, gambling. Oh, I bought a disc on Amazon. I clicked that button and knew it would be here in 48 hours. And I felt that rush. That rush, that rush. It felt so good. And to the client who gave me a birthday present, thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. I purchased three disc golf discs, and I bought good ones, ones that I wouldn’t normally buy. I bought a Paige Pierce. She’s a woman disc golfer and Paul McBeth. Funny, we got disc golf is out there, dropping some names. So you know that I know what’s going on.
So that’s the next step. That’s the next step is for you to email Michelle at the mindful, excuse me, firstname.lastname@example.org. Support at THEMINDFULHABIT.com. She’s going to personally connect you to Christine, the wonderful and kind casting person for the show. And oh, by the way, you must be 18 years or older to submit. So if it’s you struggling or someone you love struggling, the next step is to get more information. That’s how you do it. If you’re watching this on YouTube, hit me up in the comments. Let me know if you have any questions.
But in terms of regarding this opportunity, send your questions to email@example.com and just maybe, just maybe someone listening to this podcast is going to share their trials and tribulations online or publicly on a powerful show and that ripples the impact on their lives. And then there’s the impact on the people’s lives who saw what happened. And we’re all better off because we’re more aware, we’re more connected to the problem. We’ve taken it out of the dirty dark, disgusting closet and we have discharged the shame around it.
Wow. Wow, wow, wow. You know how blessed I am to be able to talk about my crazy thoughts that come to my head? I’ve shared with you guys my brachial plexus injury early, late December. Having thoughts of putting on glasses and a mustache, covering up my tattoos and going to a strip club because I was in so much pain. I just wanted to just escape and the thought of the attention and the frolicking and the boos, and I felt that pull. And by the way, that’s natural. There’s no universe where you do not feel that pull of your sexual energy into an unhealthy direction. You got to breathe, your sexual energy will be pulled in an unhealthy direction. So I have the distinct privilege to be able to share.
Oh, and as you may have heard, well, why would you have heard? I just turned 50. It might’ve been on the social media post, but no, you would not have heard. I just turned 50 and I had one of my medical issues flared up during my birthday weekend. I was really stressed and anxious, or I was experiencing a lot of fear around some really big opportunities that have been presented to me over the course of the past 30, 60 days and imposter syndrome, the shame, that not good enough. And, oh God, what was the… I had thoughts of moving money around in the crypto accounts to buy drugs on the dark web. Thoughts of going through Escort ads and finding women who would sell drugs. So I am lucky I get to share these thoughts and be able to publicly acknowledge these pulls, right? And you can’t even mention it to your buddy like, “Oh my God, I’m off man. I just had this crazy thought about going to the massage parlor,” and because that’s how I cope and escape.
You are likely not part of a community where you have that level of openness. Now, for those of you who got this far, and this clearly is not an opportunity for you. If you need help for this problem, please visit the website, www.themindfulhabit.com. You can read about my self study program, my most popular group coaching program. And of course, there are a few men that I work with one-on-one. Only a few at a time, and there’s also, on the website, a link to this podcast and other episodes. So thank you so much for listening. Thank you so much for being part of my journey. This is Craig Perra from the mindfulhabit.com. Sex Addictions and Porn Afflictions signing off. Bye everybody.